Lessons Learned

Lessons Learned. . . .

First off all, that’s a great song by Ms. Keys and if you haven’t copped it yet, do it!

I’ve been a bit MIA, I know. My bad; life called and she needed me to handle some grown woman things, but I’m back now- re-adjusted and more in my element. I know that it’s probably all the seasons cheer, but I can’t help but be a little reflective during this time of year. So before we finish the holiday parties and get dressed to the nines for the New Year, take a moment to think about how you spent last 365 days. . . .


Before you get too sentimental, lets take a quick re-cap of my “Top Ten Best’s of 2007”!
(Why a Best-only list? Because it was a good year!)

Best Comeback: Boston Celtics
Behind the talent and leadership of forward Kevin Garnett, forward Paul Pierce and guard Ray Allen, the Boston Celtics are poised to take their place as leaders of the wish-washy Eastern Conference. This is truly an amazing feat from a team that won a total of twenty four games last season.
Runner Up: Whitney Houston (Divorce-handled; rehab-done; album- working on it. She’s definitely back!)

Best Trainwreck: The Spears Clan
This award would have gone to Britney alone, but Jamie Lynn decided to jump on the boat. The whole Spears clan gave us one sorry mishap after another, making Bobby and Whitney look like the Brady Bunch. But you know you watched every pathetic minute of it.
Runner Up: Michael Vick (You already know this story. . .)

Best Excuses to Run INTO the Law (Tie): OJ Simpson and Robert Kelly. These two just don’t get it. Laying low should be among their top goals of 2008. Stealing your own memorabilia through force is a sure way to alert the authorities. Especially if you’ve been previously accused of murder and wrote a book about what would have happened if you did it. Especially so if you’re name is Orenthal James Simpson. And R. Kelly, who allegedly had a sexual relationship with his former publicist’s teenage daughter, has no excuse for this behavior. It's honestly any wonder this man has yet to serve any time. . .
Runner-Up: Akon

Best Guilty Pleasure: Soulja Boy
DeAndre Ramone Way, better known as Soulja Boy Tell ‘Em, has taken the world by storm with his dance craze. This seventeen –year old from Batesville, Mississippi had the whole world crankin it, from ballet schools to grandmas. Now if only he could make a song about voting and we’d be set
Runner Up: Tiffany Pollard aka New York

Best Un-Sung Hero: T-Pain
Okay, follow my reasoning here: think back to the chart-topping hits of 2007. Bet you can’t come across more than three before you come across the whining serenading of one Faheem Najm (T-Pain). Bartender (w. Akon), Imma Flirt (remix), Shawty (Plies), Kiss Kiss (Chris Brown), I’m So Hood (remix), Good Life (Kanye West), Low (Flo Rida), and my personal favorite Buy U A Drank- have all featured T-Pain; that’s why he’s 2007’s Un-Sung Hero.
Runner Up: Ne-yo

Best Reason to Stay In House: Andrew Speaker. While carrying an extensively drug-resistant strain of Tuberculosis, he boarded a trans-Atlantic flight and then gave a “I didn’t’ know I was contagious” as his best excuse. We didn’t know whether to arrest him or quarantine him first, but we surely didn’t want to run into him.
Runner Up: August 8th New York City Transit Stoppage. Yup a little bit of rain shut it down.

Best Reason to Watch Sports: Super Bowl XLI
Lovie Smith, Head Coach of the Chicago Bears
Tony Dungy, Head Coach of Indianapolis Colts
For the first time in the history of the National Football League, not one, but two Black coaches were featured in this prestigious event. No matter what the outcome, we still won.
Runner Up: Barry Bonds home-run chase (whatever, I’m stil not co-signing this)

Best Reason to Watch Cable: I Love New York Season II
New York was in the *$%&#$&%(@$$% house! You know you couldn’t help yourself. We all tuned in, if anything to see if Sister Patterson’s hairline finally grew back in.
Runner Up: Anything else on VH1 (since when did this channel get good?)

Best Reason NOT To Watch Cable: BET
I don’t care what Debra Lee and them have to say, BET programming has never been worse.
Runner Up: MTV (Tila Tequila- ‘nuff said)

Best Couple: Tameka “Tiny” Cottle and Clifford “T.I.” Harris
I’m a hater so Beyonce and Jay were not going to make this list. But for real, Tiny and T.I. were made for each other and their love has withstood its share of trials: a stillborn child, various trials, break-up, pregnancy, and TI’s latest run in with the Feds. And yet they are still hanging in there-gotta appreciate black love.
Runner Up: Nas and Kelis


Without getting too melodramatic, I’d like to leave you with some parting words from ’07, so that you can get your mind right in time for the New Year:

Life is not instant soup; it’s that home-cooked stew your grandmama used to make, you’ve got to add a couple things and ‘em simmer. . . . .

N

Holiday Jitters

Are you tired of the holidays yet? Are you beginning to worry about what you are going to get so-and-so? Are you bored at work?

No, no and kinda for me.

This morning on the CBS 2 Early Show, Senior Editor Nancy Miller of Wired Magazine (one of my fav mags!) talked about random Christmas time to-dos. One such to-do is the great online marketing agent created by Office Max called ‘Elf Yourself’. You go to the website, upload your picture and your face is superimposed onto the body of an elf. You can upload your voice to personalize it even more. The little critter can dance too. It’s neat. This is a cute way to kill some time while on the job, plus you can send the little critter as a joyous link to family and friends. Apparently, over 65 million have done so already. Miller estimated 8 elves are being created every second. Yeah, I couldn’t get fully develop my elf so I will have to try later. Go to http://www.elfyourself.com/.

Another time buster, Simponize yourself at http://www.simponizeme.com/. Courtesy of Burger King.

GIFT IDEAS FOR...

Hot Mamma:

Lotions & Potions. I always like scents and flavors. I don't have a signature scent and hate to smell like other people. I will avoid certain scents if I know they are popular or if I must have it, I'll mix it with something else to create my own thing. Some flavors I like are Satsuma Body Butter - The Body Shop; Paradise Found and Lavendar Souffle - Origins; Mimosa Hair Honey... OH, and SweetHoneyDip-ChocolateBrownSugah Body Butter (lawd you could eat it!)- Carol's Daughter; Love Spell Body Splash - Victoria's Secret; and Fort Greene Body Butter - Eva Handmade Beauty. See, I like a variety of things.

Pajamas. Don’t front. A good pair of PJs is always nice. Especially if they are breathable cotton with a high thread count.

Notecards. A woman should always have a good set of stationary to send Thank You notes, Thinking of You notes, or Secret Lover notes. An added touch is to add her name or initials to the notecards. Visit Kate’s Paperie or Papyrus for a large selection of classy styles. {Pictured upper left: Beaded Chrysanthemum – Keepsake from Papyrus}

The Dapper Dude:

Pocket Square. Look into Bobby Joseph. His online store has fly shit that includes sweaters and weird, cute little hand-crafted bears.

Pocketwatch. Classic and simple.

Accessory box. Not a jewelry box (even though it really is the same thing). Something he can keep his watches in (yes, they do sell separate watch boxes, I know), cufflinks, tie pins, etc. Help him get organized. {Pictured right: men's accessories box from Red Envelope}

Party hostess-with the mostess:

Cupcakes or cookies! If you can cook, food is always great. Or just buy the item. A three-tier stand stacked with mini cupcakes and or cookies. Cupcakes and cookies can be decorated in such a pretty manner that even if they are nasty, they look great. You can even make celebrity gingerbread cookies as seen on Chow.com. {Pictured left}

• Flowers and a pitcher. Once the flowers die, they can reuse the vase. Check out Crate & Barrel for nice, inexpensive vases.


• Fruit. Edible Arrangements does a great job of jazzing up your basic fruit platter.

Barware. Hey, this could work for guys and dolls alike. I like the D.D. Bullet Cocktail Shaker by Potterybarn. {Pictured right}

Pet people (I am one!):

Dog bowl. Fill the dog bowl with a couple of dog toys, snacks, and various generic treats. You don’t know if the pet has allergies, so play it safe with the generic treats.

Nice leash, collar or accessories. Avoid clothes. Especially if you don’t know the size. {Pictured left: Holiday Pet Antlers from Trixie & Peanut}

Pet Spa. Treat their pet to luxury grooming. It is a really cute idea.

If all else fails, a giftcard is always good!


Until next time…
Be Seen at the Top!

The Real HU?

The Big Apple Classic went down Saturday night at Madison Square Garden. The games were Virginia Union vs. Bowie State and Hampton vs. Howard. I got there late and the PR people had wrapped up for the evening. Therefore, they didn’t have the credentials and didn’t know who had what information (does so-and-so have this or does she have that?) The media seats were assigned, but no one told us (SLAM mag Senior Editor and myself) where to go so we just sat wherever – later to find our real seats.

I tell you, the first game was a blur. The boys playing looked like grown-ass men. They were all tatted up, full beards, some even looking like they owed child support. The VA Union team’s coach was just screaming. I’m like ‘For what?’ We sat next to their bench so we heard all the antics. The team looked frazzled. I don’t even think Union had a personal trainer. At one point in the game, the athletes had to massage each other! Lol

So the game I really came to see was Hampton vs. Howard. Hampton Institute University holds a special place in my heart. My family has a looong standing history with Hampton. My grandfather helped to build one of the dorms while a student at the Institute (his father, Charles Wesley Murrell, Sr. - was the head master of Hampton Normal School for freed Black slaves and Native Americans. There are archive letters between he and my great-grandmother while she was living in Cuba (before she came the States)); numerous cousins attended; and my Mom was Ms. Hampton 1974-1975 (she was the first Ms. Hampton to be in Ebony magazine – the first time they did that campaign).

When the announcer called ‘The Real HU’ game, the crowd went WILD. Our true media seats ended up being directly in front of the Hampton crowd. They were quite entertaining. All you could hear was, “H.I.U. I love, I love, I love my H.I.U!” An administrator told us they brought 5 bus loads of kids. They were so proud to be there – drinking beer, painted faces, singing songs. The Howard side got ready and did their thing. Their band was on point and the cheerleaders were much better organized. Even the Bison mascots had it together. They brought two the male and female. Hampton’s mascot is a Pirate, however, I don’t understand why and HBCU had a White, blue-eyed Pirate.

Hampton’s starting line-up was:
#1 – Matthew Pilgrim, Forward, 6’8, 225lbs.
#3 – Rashad West, Guard, 6’1, 175
#13 – Jordan Brooks, Guard, 5’9 (Um, he was more like 5’4) 165lbs.
#21 – Mike Freeman, Forward, 6’8, 220lbs.
#31 – Donte Harrison, Forward/Center, 6’9, 220lbs.

Howard’s starting line-up:
#00 Curtis White, Guard, 6’4, 195lbs.
#1 – Kandi Mukole, Forward, 6’8, 215lbs.
(the Hampton crowd had a field day with his name telling him that his Momma knew he would be sweet, that’s why she named him Kandi. I just knew someone breakout singing Cameo)
#5 – Adam Walker, Forward, 6’8, 190lbs.
#10 – Randy Hampton, Forward, 6’5, 190lbs.
#33 – Eugene Myatt, Center, 6’5, 210lbs.

Myatt scored the first point of the game which was a 3pt for Howard. Hampton screamed ‘Hey, you, #54 you suck!” So Paul Kirkpatrick, Center, 6’9, 220lbs came back with a gentle slam dunk. Hampton couldn’t get it together from the right wing. They couldn’t shoot worth a damn from the sides. But when it came to antagonizing the opposing team, the sideline had the players back. It was amusing. The crowd told Howard to miss and they did. At one point, Howard’s #15 – Kyle Riley, Guard, 6’3, 180lbs. got faked out by someone and fell. It was quite embarrassing. As he layed on his back, everyone in MSG said “Ooooo”. It wasn’t expected and happened so fast. I can’t even tell you who broke the kid’s ankles.

By ½ time the score was 28-13 Hampton. Sad. I didn’t think Howard would make 30pts. I mean even in NBA Live, if you’re down by 21pts start over. Well this was read life and Hampton kept on… like a big brother teaching his lil bro a lesson.

As you can probably tell, most of my excitement came from the sideline commentary. Hampton shouted at their own coach to put them in the game so the players could rest and not waste their time. They yelled at #33 Eugene Myatt saying “Eugene, I know you must be mad. You should tell your coach that you hate him. Tel him that you don’t want to play anymore. Tell him that you want to go home and read a book.” One kid said, “This is the worst blow-out I’ve seen in the last 20yrs and I’m only 18!” Hilarious. Lmao.

Howard’s sideline was quiet. I mean what could they say. They were getting whooped. The cheerleaders kept a goodface – uh, well, they should. It got to the point where Hampton cheered when Howard finally made 30pts off a foul and they sighed “Aw” when the kid missed his second freethrow.

The game ended with Hampton singing “Hooooward. H.U. We whooped that ass. Whooped that ass” while doing the soul clap. Score 65-31 Hampton.

If anything, it was entertaining.


Until next time…

Be Seen at the Top!

Inside Man

Hmm, if you know me, then you know that I’m not really a sneaker head. More of a f-me pump chick (you know the killer high spike sexy shoes – Hey, hey. My toes are decent. I was a dancer and track star so they aren’t perfect) ANYWAYS, I came across Jordan’s newest creation… no, not the Jordan 23’s. They are on a media embargo until Dec 31st at 11:59pm. I’m talking about The Spiz’ikes. Yes, the man Spike Lee (no relation… I don’t think) has been working with Nike for years. For some, this isn't new news, but the release of the latest editions are. The concept is that Nike has taken bits and pieces from all the shoes Spike inspired and jam-packed them into one:

Air Jordan 3 - sole, midsole, and “Spike”/elephant print
Air Jordan 4 - “wings” on the sides of the shoes that hold lace loops

Air Jordan 5 - main silhouette of the shoes as well as netting on the side

Air Jordan 6 - tongue of shoes and lace locks

Air Jordan 9 - back tab

Originally called the Frankenstein, this shoe wasn’t expected to be successful. After seeing some of the colors, I don’t blame them. I personally don’t like the female variation. {pictured above right}

The first round of colorways were white/red/green and then black/red/green. They were also only released on the East Coast as per Mr. Lee’s request. Proving to be a winner, Nike then released the shoes in “True Blue” which is red/white/blue (found for $175 on Nicekicks.com) and “Fire Red” white/cement grey-black/red (found for $295 on Nicekicks.com)

Last week, The O.G. (white and cement grey) dropped. It is available at Nike House of Hoops on 125th for $175, but I’m sure you can find it online. Well, you better jump on them. You know how you sneakerheads do.

Here are other variations of the sneaker:

Kings County

Do the Right Thing {pictured right}

Photo credits: Sneakerfreaker.com; Nicekicks.com; and me!

Until next time…
Be Seen at the Top!

Friends & Family Day... no, not shopping

I hope you all had a good Thanksgiving. For some, this is the best holiday of them all: Macy's parade ( on TV or in real life) good eats… ham, turkey of course - fried, baked, burnt, not quite cooked – cranberry sauce, squash, yams, stuffing/dressing, mac-n-cheese, soup, potatoes – mashed, sweet, garlic, salad - greens/cabbage, everything else and you can’t forget the sweets – pumpkin pie, sweet potato pie, coconut custard pie (resorting to your childhood and licking the bowl)… massive email texts with variations on ‘HAPPY THANKSGIVING” “Happy Day when the pilgrims stole the land of the true Americans” (I had like 30+ texts. So many that my Treo froze telling me I didn’t have enough memory so I had to delete texts and reboot); arguments about family (damn sister-in-laws, bad ass kids, pets, Auntie’s nasty food and why did she bring it, who is helping clean up, who the hell is farting), politics (Hilary’s butchness classic Uncle Frank statement:“how can she control a country if she can’t control her man” vs. Barack’s lack of experience); pissin’ contests comparing years of service in the ARMY/Marines/Air Force/whatever; arguments over damn Mexicans (They’re taking our jobs. Well are they really?) and yada-yada-yada.

It is always great when family and friends come together. Sometimes you may think it’s a drag, but in the end, you realize that it might be only once a year that you get to be baggered about who you are dating, that you get to see your little cousin Jason who really isn’t so little anymore, that you get that home cooked meal and don’t feel guilty about eating 3rds or 4ths, that you feel the love and warmth of true family and friends.

I couldn’t spend this holiday with my family, so one of my girlfriends (B. Rocks!!!) invited me down to spend it with she and her family. I’ve hungout with them plenty of times so I knew I would have a blast. A Rocks family favorite is tip-cup, but we didn’t play it. Okay, basically tip-cup is a relay race in which you have x amount of people on one side of the table vs. x amount of people on the other side. At the sound of the buzzer (or just say “GO!”) the first person swallows down about ¼ of their drink of choice. After they drink it down, they slam down the cup to prove it’s empty and place it on the edge of the table. This is where the tipping comes into play. They must successfully flip their cup over – landing on the brim – before the next teammate can go. The anchor for each team has about ½ a cup to drink and must successfully tip their cup. The first team to successfully tip all their cups wins that round. Each person must be an anchor. LOL. Good times and a quick way to get wasted. I struggle at this game. The kids usually beat me. Hey, I’m a light-weight. Yes, they play, but not with booze. Since I’m an adult, I must play with booze.

Here is a crazy little video I took on my Treo - quality isn't the greatest, but I wanted to capture the moment :-) The Rocks and I were sitting around trying to calm down the rambunctious kids. Uncle Michael broke out the mini guitar and began singing ‘Puff the Magic Dragon.’ From there we sang other kid-friendly songs, laughed, drank and ate pie.

Peace, peace familia!!

Be Seen at the Top!

The Collective Spotlights...

Now the weather outside isn't quite frightful but I'm sure inside is still delightful. As you get your holiday grub on, don't forget that you might be packing on a few unwanted pounds. Here is a great workout clothing line for men, Pushing Weight. They are relaunch just in time for the holidays. So instead of getting your Secret Santa a whack ass tie or something, get him something he can use.

PUSHING WEIGHT
Website: www.pushingweight.com
Email: cs@pushingweight.com

PUSHING WEIGHT is a men’s lifestyle clothing brand designed to inspire, enrich and support the lives of fitness minded individuals. The PUSHING WEIGHT man is not defined by his past, rather he chooses to define himself by who and what he can and will be. He is multifaceted and not afraid to break the mold.

The PUSHING WEIGHT man is concerned with his appearance and trains to be the best he can be. He understands the benefits of fitness and the satisfaction of accomplishment. He is self-motivated and competes against his harshest critic--himself. He seeks knowledge to develop and refine his workout regimen. He is focused, determined and driven. He knows that how he looks on the outside not only reflects his physical well being but, also his emotional and spiritual essence.

PUSHING WEIGHT recognizes his devotion and his efforts and supports it with a lifestyle brand that embraces and encourages it.

Until next time...

Be Seen at the Top!

Forbidden Fruit?

So last night I had a heated discussion with this guy who I thought had potential. Now I should have known it wouldn’t go anywhere because the kid really only communicated through text and emails. Weird. Anyway, the discuss started with hanging out (because we hadn’t even started dating) and then escalated to him telling me “Sad to say, but I don’t think my wife will be Black or American”. Scerrrrr. What? First where did that come from? Second, why cut out an entire race and nation of folks?

That got me to thinking. So are all the women in America screwed up? Especially all the Black American women? Are we the forbidden fruit? I mean, many people have discussed this topic on various occasions, but I don’t get it. I know that I am an awesome Black women (yeah, I must admit – lol). I am bilingual (could be tri but my Portuguese is really shaky, oh so is my Sign-language), I’m well traveled and would love to see more of the World (really want to do the Amazing Race), socialable, love to dine at Turkish/Thai/African/Indian etc restaurants, can flip between the football/basketball game and America’s Next Top Model, articulate, well versed in the cultural realm, I can get dirty (Dad had me working on cars with him when I learned how to walk, he made me a great fisherman, and cut 3 acres of grass in the hot VA sun - yes, I was able to use a riding lawnmower for the majority of it - Daddy isn't THAT gangsta) and I can clean up and hob-knob with the bourgeoisie… I’ve been told I’m a guy’s girl. I know I’m a great catch b/c I have a heart of gold and uber supportive to my man (Give me a 'M'! Give me an 'A'! Give me a 'N'!... yeah, I'm his cheerleader) - when I have one. :-D

While I know this about me, I know I don’t represent the 100’s and 1000’s of Black women and Americans out there. But why cut out an entire set of women? Shoot, I know I’m not perfect. I know that I have can have an attitude and I’m moody, but I make a mean baked chicken and my mac-n-cheese are to die for. OH, can’t forget about my potato salad! Lawd. (Yes, I will cook for my man). Everyone has flaws no matter what race or where you live.

I asked some of my girlfriends if I had the right to be offended by his statement. (if you know me they are MULTICULTURAL – lol) And the White ones referenced his age and my BFF Irish chica said “Hell yeah. He’s a douchebag”. The ones of color just laughed it off and said he was a hot mess. I'm sure he is a great guy and this post isn't really about him. It is about the fact that quite a few men are not interested in dating the women next door. The woman you grew up with or who may better understand where you are coming from. It's like they are looking for something out there and not even looking in their own backyard. I've heard it before - some of my boys have said it - that they don't date Black women. Hmmm. To each his own. People are going to love whomever they are going to love. I just don't get cutting out an entire section of people. I mean, what's so wrong with us?

Like I've said before, I'm well traveled (I've lived abroad for a couple brief stints) and I understand the culture shock one gets when coming back to the States. You realize how spoiled we are, how much we have, how good we have it. You reflect on your life as compared to those you just left. I know what it's like to stay in a $7 (American dollars) hotel and have to take a cold shower while praying that the big ass spider in the corner doesn't decide to join you (Yes, peoples. I keeps it real - lol). I appreciate life and all cultures. I can't speak for all Americans and all Black American women. Perhaps because of the way I was raised. I have a rich cultural background.

So, I wouldn't say that all American women are bad and unmarriable. Ha! Now when I was laying on the emergency room table in Spain hooked up to IV's because I drank out the wrong fountain, perhaps the Doctor was saying 'Stupid American' but hey, I was living life and I'd do it again. Well, I'd choose a different fountain to drink out of.

Well, I’m going to reference one of my brother's – the quote master – many quotes, “Never apologize for being yourself.” This is so true.

Until next time…

Be Seen At the Top!

Hookup: Puma Friends & Family

Who doesn't love a hookup? Click on image to enlarge, then print it out. Enjoy...

Anotha Hova Remix

We receive blasts and press releases regarding lots of different subjects. Here is one that covers video director Scenario's remixing of Jay Z's Blue Magic:

After last weeks unveiling of the new G-Unit video, "Feels so Good"... Scenario is back again with a new remix video to Blue Magic with Ravenel Records very own Nina B ( Remember Her??). After doing a remix video with Nina B last month for 50 Cent's I Get Money, which has over 50,000 hits, Scenario decided to Have Nina B, this remix as well. Scenario has worked with other artist before, but no one gets the response that Nina B. gets when she puts out a video. Jay Z's album is out in stores. The Blue Magic remix has been released on the net.

My thoughts... Perhaps it is the size of the small screen, perhaps it's my computer speakers, but the video didn't move me. Kudos to the director Scenario on working with Hova, but the self-promotion (adding his email in the video) was a funny. Hopefully that's just the YouTube version.

Until next time...

Be Seen at the Top!

The Birth of Hip-Toc

So one day you find yourself at the ironing board at 7:00 in the morning. You notice the fully charged light on your cellphone while you stride across the apartment to make a selection out of your seamlessly juxtaposed R&B and rap collection. Your latte selection is etched into your mind and your signature is as pertinent a form of commerce as those Jackson’s in your money clip. If you find yourself in this crisp button-up psychographic, then you are a pioneer of Hip-Toc. You are a dual master of hip-hop bravado and office policy, as refined and polished as the face of your wristwatch that tic-tocks without leniency during your daily conquests. A fluent speaker of proper English and the slang that nurtured you, you are the puller of the first cab with a female counterpart and won’t accept anything less than the third cab when you hail solo.

This aspect of urban maturity took a quarter-century to refine, with many nation-influencing cultivations on its belt notch to date. However, Hip-Toc was incepted in the 90’s when the credo was to “get money” and to “not be a hater.” A percentage of folks took heed to the new message and forged a $5 billion plus sector out of hip-hop, making it a global force that commercial corporations acknowledged and suburban mannerism gravitated towards. But its real unearthing wasn’t until Jay-Z called forth the “Grown and Sexy,” and legitimized the mind-set of a more harmonized and professional Hip-Toc aspirant. Now the ingenuity and swagger of the streets have many anxious buyers waiting to receive the commodities of the cultivated hip-hop contender.

I posed the question of “what do you think Hip-Toc is?” to music executive Eric. He stated that “Any smart person changes with the times. Some of the most influential people in hip-hop dress in suits and ties everyday, but they can tell you more about hip-hop than the random brotha on the corner. If you’re an entertainment lawyer and I’m an artist, I don’t want my lawyer to dress the same as me. I want him to know about the music I make and I want him to appreciate it and know it and that makes him real. That’s hip-hop. As far as Hip-Toc. It comes to a matter of being a product of a culture. Someone in the age bracket of their early thirties would have grown up in the forefront of when this culture was just starting and booming, whereas someone else has something to learn. They still have a lot to learn about what it is that their admiring and the whole culture they are a part of.”

I consulted Roger, a physician in D.C. and a great example of a Hip-Toc prototype. He said “We owe the culture. We owe the youth, and they need to see these images of hip-hop that are the engineers, that are the dentists, that are the lawyers, the reverends, that are the doctors, the entrepreneurs. We owe our culture a complete view of ourselves and not to limit ourselves to merely a thug image.” He asserts after asking the question of whether the pioneers of hip-hop would want us to quote “keep it real” or “keep it gangsta” that “when you talk about the pioneers of hip-hop, you assume that I’m not one of them. I came up through hip-hop just like the next man came up through hip-hop. I can’t quote verbatim the lyrics of Rakim or LL, but I chose that when my pen hits the pad to write science equations, that when my pen hits the pad to write prescriptions or diagnoses’, but its all hip-hop. As far as the terms keepin it gully or keepin it gangsta, those are just metaphors. I keep it gully and keep it gangsta by the fact that I’m the only Black man in my residency. That’s keepin it gangsta.”

Hip-Toc is the evolution of the hip-hop aficionado. It is the message to the hip-hop enthusiasts that don’t necessarily want to be the artist, but instead live the culture through its many identities and personas. It is the mindframe of the brothers and sisters who can walk into any situation and have at least two options of action, they can either handle it like gentlemen, or they can get into some gangsta shit, all handled accordingly and with technique and bravado. Peace

Love is patient...

I just had a moment the other day. (sigh)

There have been previous posts regarding relationships and women and blah, blah, blah. I feel this song goes both ways. I would sing it to my man of interest and hopefully vice-versa. Well, if there was such. This is a bangin song, so I had to share... You know it, so go ahead and sing along.





Be Seen at the Top!

~Bettina

Indie Trunk Show...

WEAR IT’S AT! THE FALL EDITION is an indie designer trunk show hosted by Tinalee Media & Events, Inc. This exclusive shopping event features our favorite rising-star fashion designers such as unisex label Beeing, uber stylish wovens by Harshita Designs, unique jewelry from Vintage Whimseys and more! While you're there enjoy: complimentary cocktails, great music, and beauty services.

*Must be 21 years or older to enjoy complimentary cocktails. While supplies last.

Featured designers include:
Beeing
Corrente Handbags
Harshita Designs
Myth Boutique
Teya Jewelry
Vuedis
Wye:Wovens

WHEN: Nov. 17 (2-6pm)

WHERE: 500 Fifth Ave., 4th Fl (btwn 35 & 36th St) - NYC

COST: $10 advance / $15 at the door

**Purchase your tickets today!

Click HERE

For more information, contact Tinalee Media & Events at: Contact@tinaleemedia.com or (347) 621-1336

Reebok and Voltron? Who knew?

Well, yes indeed. They have teamed up to bring you the new ish. I remember Voltron. And as I was telling fellow Blogger Khalid, there was a pink member of the Voltron group. I don't remember her name or what exactly she did. I just remember that she was holding it down for the ladies.

Anyway, the point of this entry is to introduce you to Reebok's new Spring line. Wednesday night, some of The Collective crew attended. Most of it was... interesting. They REALLY touched back to the 80's. I mean, they are bringing back the$54.11's hard. I'm talking red with die-cut hearts and satin red and white shoelaces; the Freestyle Tokoyo was black patent leather with the crazy 80's fuschia and metallic blue techno patterns; there was animal print... quite frankly some of it was a hot mess. But they do have a lot in the works. Reebok is partnering with Zune and coming out with a Zune/Reebok package. The Zune will be preloaded with all sorts of cool downloads and what not. As of now, the price will only be $120 for both. When I get more info, I'll let you know. They are also partnering with Kool-Aid and bringing out Kool-Aid inspired clothing. Like, you'll have Mr. Kool-Aid's face plastered on your shirt, sweatshirt and baby-tee. I don't think it was a good look for either the men's or women's collection.

They showed Scarlett Johansson's new collection. She is keeping with the sweatsuit inspired clothing and cutout hearts, but she threw in a few yoga/track inspired pieces as well. I wasn't mad.

As for Voltron, the PR company showed an intro video (only in 1 room so the majority of the folks couldn't see. Hot mess). The self-proclaimed head Voltron Geek was there on hand to answer any of your questions. I kinda liked him. He was sporting his old school Voltron shirt and even able to take it back to the non US released versions of Voltron. Once he went there, he just turned into one of the parents off of Peanuts "waamp-womp-womp-womp". I had no clue what he was talking about. He then began talking about the packaging and how the Voltron shoes come with a fully functional Voltron toy - minus the toxic lead paint. That made me happy. I always like toys.

Below are more pictures. Enjoy!

Voltron Packaging (atop case): Each shoe comes with the Voltron history and a matching toy.

Below: Scarlett Johannson's Line - SJ Orchid Dress. Also comes in Red.

I think it would be cute as you can cinch it in the back creating more of a waistline.

REACTivists

The Jena 6, Megan Williams, Sean Bell: These are all the latest injustices which have enraged the Black American public and provided endless fodder for the network media. The injustices in these cases are all glaring and grave, but is our obsessive rallying around a few key causes each year hampering our ability to create real change in our society?

Each year these injustices come up- in 2006 it was Sean Bell, in 2005 Hurricane Katrina. Invariably those African-American issues which are on the forefront of American consciousness are those that can be packaged up nice and neat. The injustices are so shocking that they can almost be dismissed as the work of extreme racism so as not to implicate the overall American culture and government. But these cases are only the “highlights” in a miles long list of injustices committed against minorities and the poor in America. How many more cases like Sean Bell’s have there been? Where instead of being a devoted fiancé and father, the victim was a street hustler, instead of fifty shots, there was only one-- straight through the heart.

On his blog, Transform America, my friend Chester Asher writes:

“If we always wait for injustice before we act we will forever be limited. For once the injustice subsides the movement is over… Such an approach abdicates our roles as responsible humans… Doomed to serve as a check on the system rather than a creator of it.”

Also disheartening is the very nature of our responses to these causes. While media attention and raising awareness are absolutely essential to achieving justice, our responses seldom seem to make it past raising awareness. We send email forwards, join facebook groups (the groups for Megan Williams and Sean Bell have hundreds of thousands of members), email congress members, put buttons on our blogs. We write on message boards where narrow-minded trolls make conversations quickly turn inflammatory. At the end of the day we have either patted ourselves on the back for “signing up” for the cause or we’ve wasted potential positive energy on energy draining arguments.

How can we harness the power of virtual communication to make REAL, positive change?

How can we shift from always responding to injustice to actually CREATING the change we wish to see in this world?

An Excert from Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes' Letter to a Young Acitivist During Troubled Times

Mis estimados:
Do not lose heart. We were made for these times.
I have heard from so many recently who are deeply and properly bewildered. They are concerned about the state of affairs in our world right now. It is true, one has to have strong cojones and ovarios to withstand much of what passes for "good" in our culture today. Abject disregard of what the soul finds most precious and irreplaceable and the corruption of principled ideals have become, in some large societal arenas, "the new normal," the grotesquerie of the week. It is hard to say which one of the current egregious matters has rocked people's worlds and beliefs more. Ours is a time of almost daily jaw-dropping astonishment and often righteous rage over the latest degradations of what matters most to civilized, visionary people.

...You are right in your assessments. The lustre and hubris some have aspired to while endorsing acts so heinous against children, elders, everyday people, the poor, the unguarded, the helpless, is breathtaking. Yet ... I urge you, ask you, gentle you, to please not spend your spirit dry by bewailing these difficult times. Especially do not lose hope. Most particularly because, the fact is — we were made for these times. Yes. For years, we have been learning, practicing, been in training for and just waiting to meet on this exact plain of engagement. I cannot tell you often enough that we are definitely the leaders we have been waiting for, and that we have been raised since childhood for this time precisely.

Art Fighting Homelessness

Sharing means caring...

EVENT DETAILS:

Re* Generation Gallery 2007 Auction and Benefit

In support of

National Homeless Youth Awareness Month

7, Nov 2007

Bidding begins at 7pm and ends at 10pm

party ends at 11pm

Skylight/275 Hudson St. NYC

(btwn Spring & Canal)

Special DJ performance by James Murphy of LCD Soundsystem

Cocktails and Hors d' oeuvres will be served

RSVP to regeneration@brandpimps.com by 10/26/07

100% of the proceeds raised from the auction go to Re*Generation's charitable partners fighting youth homelessness.

Be Seen at the Top!

Techie Joint

Do you read WIRED, http://www.japaninc.net/, or PC World, well then this is for all you techies out there... ENJOY!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Tekserve Presents:

Description
The popular MAKE magazine brings the do-it-yourself mindset to all the technology in your life. Filled with all sorts of exciting projects that help readers make the most of their technology at home and away from home, MAKE has become an essential subscription for the digital tinkerer. Bre Pettis, the familiar face behind MAKE Magazine's weekly video podcasts, will be on-hand in Tekserve's main space to demonstrate how to get started building electronic projects, from simply picking up a screwdriver, to easy starter projects, to what not-to-do. This promises to be an exciting event that will leave you with the basics and confidence to take apart your own electronics and finally make that talking robot you've always dreamed about!

Who Should Attend
Those who want to build electronics

Location
TekserveSeminar Room119 West 23rd StreetNew York, NY 10011

Instructor
Bre Pettis
Bre is the guy behind MAKE Magazine's popular weekly video podcasts.

To RSVP, click here.

OH, WAIT, I almost forgot that they're having a Leopard release party on Thursday. Aren't you lucky you tuned in to The Collective? Ha, ha!

Friday October 26 at 6pm: Leopard Release Party at TekserveJoin us at Tekserve on Friday, October 26th from 6pm-10pm as we celebrate the release of "Leopard," the newest and most impressive Mac OS X version yet. Be one of the first to get a copy of Mac OS X Leopard and partake in the fun-filled festivities we have lined up. Here is a taste of what to expect on the 26th at Tekserve:

- Free plush Leopard for all attendees

- Complimentary Tekserve tote bag with all Leopard purchases - limit one per person

- iPod nano raffle every 30 minutes along with other cool stuff

- Costume contest: The best Leopard-themed costume winner gets an iPod touch

- A presentation by Mike Daisey, master storyteller and monologist

- Live Jazz Music & refreshments

- A great time with fellow Mac users

To register for this event, please visit tekserve.com/seminars.

Be Seen at the Top!

Festive Night w/ Talib Kweli @ The Apollo

WHAT: Belvedere Vodka presents The Apollo Lounge: Join Talib Kweli for an intimate evening of cocktails, hors d' oeuvres, and a lively performance celebrating the indomitable spirit of independent music.

WHERE: The Apollo Theatre (253 West 125th St)

WHEN: Tuesday, Nov. 6 (7-9pm)

WHY: Shooot, why not? But I suppose this is an Apollo membership driven event. It's worth it, the Apollo needs some funds.

COST: Free - You just have to register for your tickets.

ATTIRE: Festive - So don't come looking a hot mess. I'd say cocktail dresses and suits (at least a blazer)

RSVP: Click on the picture or visit: https://dnbweb1.blackbaud.com/OPXDONATE/AddDonor.asp?cguid=90D53CCA%2D18CD%2D4D89%2D9C08%2DB9515C8DF838&sTarget=https%3A%2F%2Fdnbweb1%2Eblackbaud%2Ecom%2FOPXDONATE%2FEventRegister%2Easp%3Fcguid%3D90D53CCA%252D18CD%252D4D89%252D9C08%252DB9515C8DF838%26eid%3D12682&sid=CA1D66FD%2D0709%2D4580%2D96DE%2DF63C3AB2DBF4

Until next time...

Be Seen at the Top!

What’s Your Guilty Pleasure?

Last nite, I found myself watching the BET Hip-Hop Awards Show. Although I actively boycott the network, I took some time out to see how this second annual debauchery would go down. Luckily, I only caught the closing act, Soulja Boy. During the performance, a pan shot across the audience showed various middle-aged men and women, doing their best impressions of Crank That (Debra Lee had a little bounce in there, too; but I’ll get back to her later). As the credits rolled, I began to wonder what it would look like if Young B and DJ Webstar came out and battle-danced Soulja Boy. I’ve wrestled with that scenerio ever since. In all seriousness, I can’t come to a solution. So, I’ve decided to share it with you in order to get your opinion:

Chicken Noodle Soup or Soulja Boy Crank That?

Let me start off by saying, that there is a long history behind these new crazes. Despite what these lil’ chil’ren may think, black music and dance are intertwined entities. Lindy Hop, The Twist, Moonwalk, Electric Slide, Cha-Cha slide, Hokey Pokey, Tone Wap, Crip Walk, Tootsie Roll, Butterfly, the list goes on. Used to be you could get away with a couple two-steps and an abstract hand movement, but the current Hip-hop dance crazes are quite involved. Now you gotta jump, turn around, touch your toe, dip, and grab a partner, slide, kick a foot up, lean with it and walk with it.

I digress.

Both songs/dances have their pros and cons. Content-wise, I just can’t understand what Crank That is about. With lines like, “Watch me crank that roosavelt. . .and super soak that. . .” or the ever-catchy “superman that. . ” I’m often left standing around confused until the hook comes (for a defnition of the "Superman" you'll have to reach out to your nearest fifteen year-old; I can't put that into print . . .). Chicken Noodle Soup, on the other hand, tells the story of a summer afternoon in Harlem. Dance-wise, Chicken Noodle Soup was cute the first couple times I saw it, but then I realized the blatant coonery that is projected from this dance craze. Another knock against CNS is the degree of easiness. Now I’ve never been much of a dancer. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve got rhythm, but I don’t follow directions well. Even after watching the kids at Rucker Park practice their Noodle skills, I still can’t get it right. Crank That, on the other hand, went hi-tech and provided various instructional videos for people like me. After my YouTube tutorial, I feel confident enough get my “crank” on. I have to admit, its fun! And quite the work-out.
With all that being said, I still haven’t come to a conclusion. So drop a line in the comments section on your dance-craze guilty pleasure.

N

NIKEiD.STUDIO Grand Opening Party in NYC

For all you sneaker heads out there.

Enjoy!

WHAT: Opening of the NikeiD.Studio at Niketown NY and the unveiling of Nike's customized kicks; see what inspires the designers

WHO: David Wright, Nigel Sylvester, Corbin Bleu, Alana Beard, Cullen Jones, Lil Mama, Taylor Momsen, Penn Badgley, Chris Bryant & The Starting Line.

WHEN: Saturday, Oct 20th

TIME: 12-1pm *Doors open at 10am

WHERE: Niketown NY (6 E. 57th St)

Until next time...

Be Seen at the Top!

Got Change for a Five or a Ten

Whenever my eyes get caught in the proverbial headlights of the show “The Flavor of Love,” I cant help but diagnosing this bacoonary by saying that every 5 years there is a black person that takes us back 10 years. But then I ask myself, how can others take me back? I would like to think that I am moving forward. And in actuality I am, and so are my peers and family. I think that people are creatures of habit and that once you have experienced something foreign, it starts to become more familiar and easier to navigate if you engage in it again. But remember, advancing towards a more functional life entails moving forward as well as moving back. The key towards trudging forward is to experience more things that have a positive impact on your life. Success is really having a choice between options. In jail, they tell you when to piss, eat, line up and sleep. On the other hand, Donald Trump has the option to decide that he’s going to Paris today to sign a deal. How many of us that didn’t or don’t like our job wish that they could leave it and do what they really wanted to do. They don’t create that option so they see themselves as unsuccessful. That’s just in the job context, but “having options” can refer to all aspects of our lives. The secret is that having options really starts by making choices. Are you going to choose paths that take you forward, keep you stagnant or reverse your position? Remember that when you choose options that do take you to a higher echelon, it’s harder to digress. Earlier in my career I used to end every work day with a cold sixer and a bag of chips. Now if I do that everyday, I just won’t feel right. Because I have let other positive experiences into my realm, I might cook a fit meal, read an interesting magazine or book, or converse with positive ambitious people to satisfy my precious time. Now that these options have become habit and ways of life, it just wouldn’t feel right for someone to pull me from what I do positively now. Reach for the moon and if you fall you only fall amongst the stars. Aim for ten steps higher and if you solely reach 5, then you are still ahead of the game. Peace

Get your swagger on

(sorry the top got cut off) After attending the GQ turns 50/Maker’s Mark event last night, I felt The Collective should get their swagger on. While the majority of the men at the event weren’t as dapper as I had hoped, a few made me want to twirl my dress. After my one , yes 1, Maker's Mark Manhattan (Neat I may add) they looked better and I didn't feel so glum. But still, at a GQ event, I for sure thought the menfolk would come suited & booted.

Due to their effortless approach to the GQ classic style, I took it upon myself to pull a few things together. Here’s a little fashion inspiration for all you dapper dudes out there. Timepieces, shirts, how to tie a tie (Hey, some people still don’t know and according to the NYTimes today, ties are in – yeah, I know, right?) shoes, etc. Enjoy!

Thomas Pink - Bulldog cufflinks

Steve Madden - Tirano Black Leather







Kenneth Cole - Second Hand watch

Barney's - Brioni Navy

Paisley Tie

How to tie a tie (click on image):

Motorola - 18K Gold Plated RAZR2 V8 Luxury Edition

~Bettina

Be Seen at the Top!

Who do you think you are?

Now, I am one of those people who hates forwards about the poor little so-and-so who lost this, the religious reference to that, or 'I love my friends' e-blast. However, when a friend sent me this, I thought I would share. See, The Collective is all about REAL PEOPLE. We aren't a status group that responds only to the socially elite. We deal with real people. Yes, it's great that you became the VP of Marketing at blahse-blah company; but you weren't always that, so don't forget. Read on below and enjoy. ~Blee

- - - - - -
There was a blind girl who hated herself because she was blind. She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend. He was always there for her. She told her boyfriend, "If I could only see the world, I will marry you." One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to her. When the bandages came off, she was able to see everything, including her boyfriend. He asked her,'Now that you can see the world, will you marry me?' The girl looked at her boyfriend and saw that he was blind. The sight of his closed eyelids shocked her. She hadn't expected that. The thought of looking at them the rest of her life led her to refuse to marry him. Her boyfriend left her in tears and days later wrote a note to her saying: 'Take good care of your eyes, my dear, for before they were yours, they were mine.'

This is how the human brain often works when our status changes. Only a very few remember what life was like before, and who was always by our side during our most painful situations.

Life Is a Gift

Until next time...

Be Seen at the Top! (but don't go stepping on people or forgetting who you are to get there)

Have you Seen Her?

When I think about relationships, the conundrum lies in the fact that the older you get, the more refined your search and courting requisites seem to be. Now I could never put-on the chickens that I would sometimes entertain in my early 20’s. It’s a gift and a curse, being that I am in my early 30’s and as I stare at my more current dates across the Cheesecake Factory’s booth, I wonder whether I could potentially marry the woman I am having my first date with. Crazy but that’s just how I think now. Maybe my perspective is too critical and I should just dig into my salmon and see what jumps off later but truthfully, I’m not embarrassed to think like a man now. I always say that God, on his most simple level, gives man something to think about. And now I am not afraid to think of the repercussions or potential outcomes of dating and relationships. I do know what I don’t want out of a relationship though. And that is a woman that throws all, I mean 100% of her interest and worth into me without regard to herself. Everyone has heard the “I can’t love someone who doesn’t love themselves” quote. And there is true merit to that statement. As a woman, you cannot revolve your whole life around a man. You have to deposit some of your precious sustenance back into yourself. Think of the word attractiveness. In order to be attractive (regardless of looks) one must be magnetic or have a magnetic personality. That means that you draw things, opportunities and especially people to you. But in order to retain what you have attracted, you must be a whole person yourself in order to keep a whole person. That is scoring the “total package”. Symbolically, when you get married, you exchange, rings which represents the giving and receiving of your mate’s entirety. When you bond or join these rings, or 360 degrees of yourself, then you are able to build and add more than what you could as individuals and bring a third party into the situation in the form of offspring. I know that the more I better myself and eat right, exercise, work hard, and always learn, I will grow my self esteem and self image. When I grow my self image, I can see myself doing even greater things and place myself in better surroundings around other upwardly mobile and interesting people. And I do believe that it is then that I will see her. Peace

Jamba Juice hookup

Use this coupon for your Jamba Juice cravings. The image should get larger once you click on it. Then print it out and enjoy your juice. Sorry for those who don't have one in their area.

If clicking on the image doesn't work, then click here: http://www.jambafunctionals.com/bogo/coupon.aspx?errorcode=4&errorcontrol=Email%20Address

The Collective Spotlights...

Sultry, sensual and soulful are just a few words that describe the voice of Amos Winbush. Amos is a naturally gifted vocalist and songwriter.
Born in 1983 in Shreveport, Louisiana, Amos is a singer/songwriter that brings together southern hospitality and musical innovation. Humble in his demeanor, while possessing a robust vocal ability, he has garnered the attention of music industry rainmakers.

Amos is the latest edition in a musical dynasty. His career has been greatly influenced by, his cousin, multi-platinum producer/singer/songwriter Angela’ Winbush. His father is also an accomplished musician whose performance roster includes legendary groups such as The Drifters and Blues superstar Vicky Baker. Many other musical mentors have provided the inspiration for his career, as an artist whose style infuses elements from a variety of cultures.

He has performed as the opening solo act on various tours with several popular recording artists, including Erykah Badu, Joe and Carl Thomas. His performances have demonstrated his vocal prowess; an ability that consistently captivates his audiences. Combined with his charisma and charm, Amos has established himself amongst a musical dynasty of celebrated individuals with raw talent.

Amos has recently collaborated with several multi-platinum producers and songwriters that includes Chris Rojas (whose production credits include multi- platinum recording artist Jessica Simpson, The Backstreet Boys, Ricky Martin, Pink and more), Chuckey Charles (Usher, Kindred Family), DMoet (Nas, Foxy Brown) and multi-platinum songwriter/producer Curtis Richardson (Rihanna, JLo, LL Cool J, Joss Stone, and more). Other well-known producers/songwriters actively endorse Amos’ career.

With the release of his First EP “Babylon of the Orient” and His much anticipated follow up remix “Babylon of the Occident” featured singles on mega producer David Liang album “The Shanghai Restoration Project” Amos has watched both singles debut in the top three in Canada, the Uk and number 13 in the US on itunes. Recently Babylon of the Orient was chosen to be on SanDisk Sansa E-250 Mp3 player sold at Best Buy and Circuit City across the us. Today the mp3 player has sold over 250,000 copies. Soon you will be able to check out Babylon of the Orient on a national pro snowboard tour and its soundtrack coming out in the very near future. Amos music can be heard on Itunes, Msn.com, Amazon.com and rhapsody.com .

You can visit him online at www.myspace.com/amoswinbush

Until next time...

Be Seen at the Top!

Women And Happiness

I was at a dinner party earlier this week just talking and relating on different experiences. A bunch of young professionals talking about politics and family and careers and of course relationships. Now I must say that I’m used to these sorta talks, especially when women are around. Although, quiet as it’s kept men discuss it too. For different reasons and in hopes of finding a solution but still we discuss it. I’m not sure how the discussion started because I got up to wash my hands and when I came back it was already in full conversation mode. One guy and one girl were discussing the choice mother phenomenon (which is when a woman stores her eggs for the future and then uses them when she is established in her career. The choice is that she purposely doesn’t have a husband. She hits up the sperm bank. Yeah!) which I knew a little about from a NY Times article that came out last summer. The woman’s point was that for her it was the best option since she hadn’t had any luck with finding in her estimation a suitable man. She is 33 and has her own place and a good career as trial lawyer in Brooklyn’s Appellate Court. She was tired of dating cheaters and dudes who didn’t work. The dude at the table barked back that this is a stereotype that is tired. I was eating guacamole and chips but I was listening as other people chimed in. Then when I was ready I dropped this masterpiece. I said, “ women don’t know what the hell they want. They don’t know how to be happy.”

Now I love women. I love Black women especially (not to offend anyone but I love my own kind and I don’t see anything wrong with saying that), but women these days are out of their minds. I made reference to a report that came out earlier this month
by a group of researchers at the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania. They found that the average woman is much more unhappy then say her mother was. Here is a quote.

"We find that women have become less happy or less satisfied with their lives over time and less happy relative to men," said Betsey Stevenson, an economist at the Wharton School. "Surprising, perhaps, given the increased opportunities and choices for women in the modern world."
The study found that women feel they have too many choices and too many responsibilities, which adds to their feelings of sadness. Women are now often stretched and stressed between the workplace and home. "Women end up with a lot more responsibility and men play a lot more than women do," one subject said.

The report didn’t factor in age or race and I’m speaking of mainly African-American women in their late 20 and early 30’s. But I still see it. Women always seem so dissatisfied with everything. Especially men. Labeling us as dogs or players or liars or underachievers or whatever. You can even see it on TV. All the new shows and movies have women on top of their game and they have to settle for some loser dude. Like in the movie “Knocked Up” where all the females in the movie walk around like their sh*t don’t stink and act like they’re doing the men a favor by being with them. But what I’ve found since I’ve returned to the dating market are a bunch of selfish, negative minded people.

Its like today’s women are never satisfied. I’m all about aspiring for the best but you gotta be the best yourself too. Just being sexy isn’t enough. And just making 100 Grand isn’t enough. You have to have a good personality and be someone we would want to raise our children. Just be okay sometimes and stop with the crazy expectations. For instance I went out with a girl last month and when she got to the restaurant (late at that!) she brought along her friend from college. I was like that’s cool, it no big deal. Now if I ask a girl out I always pay so when the check came I paid for her but not her friend. Do you know that the girl was bothered by this? Saying it was rude and inferring that I was somehow in the wrong. Her friend was shaking her head like she was appalled. Now, mind you this other girl wasn’t even supposed to be there. And the girl I did ask out is not my girlfriend. We had only met a few weeks prior. Lets just say that I don’t associate with her anymore. And throughout the summer i've met a lot of women who are just boring or corny. All they want to talk about is their careers or something superficial. Yet we are the ones with problems.
They just complain about the last person they were with. How he didn’t do this and that or whatever. Yeah there are a lot of idiot dudes out but i'm sick of women not taking any responsibility for their actions. They’re too promiscuous and then they complain when men objectify them. Or they spend all their time on their looks and wonder why I get bored with their minds. Or the most popular, “im a lawyer/doctor/executive and I’m doing this and that and I can’t find a dude on my level” type of chick. Those are everywhere in NYC. Women forget or maybe don’t know but us men we have a lot of things to deal with too. Yeah some of us are scum and some of us got kids we don’t support and criminal records and some of us just don’t really care about the women we date and their feelings and some of us are corporate sell outs and some of us are corny and boring. Some.

Many of us are good dudes. The truth of the matter is I’ve always been a good dater (I just have good taste in food and clothes and i'm funny and that other stuff that women like. I don’t think they really understand me though) and women are interested but get confused when I back off. And I sometimes tell them, being pretty and getting your hair done and having a great career is just part of the equation. We also want women who are fun and humble and intelligent but most of all positive. Who believe in the goodness of the men they’re dealing and not the negative stuff all the time. We’re not all assholes.

So going back to the dinner party the women who was tired of dating losers asked me since I knew so much why was I single? My reply, “ I’m waiting on the person who treats me like a friend and a lover instead of as an asset. I have faith.” Her reply to me?
“ I don’t care about faith, I want to be happy.”
Wow. Don’t you need one to have the other?

-Khalid

The Passage of Can and Able

What's up to the Collective Massive,
I wanted to share a poem with you that I wrote in a time of powerful transition in my life. I wrote it slowly and I hope you read it slowly. Remember that you are impenetrable and able to achieve all things in life. Peace


Can you only imagine your true ability
Suppressed by the media and society
Supplemented by your sobriety
Sprouts up when you suspend your anxiety

Can you survive your true courage
Your equal opposite hinders its flourish
Supplemented by your self knowledge of nourish
Conquer the ultimate fear and your no longer a tourist

Can you find balance with your own cleverness
Realize that if something dies it never perishes
Supplemented by the knowledge of your heritage
Smart when repetition and correlation enjoy their marriages

Can you run fast enough to reach the zenith of patience
Realize that a steady stroll never needs maintenance
Supplement life’s rhythm and it will form cadence
Sprouts from organic to man-made, individual to nations