When I think about relationships, the conundrum lies in the fact that the older you get, the more refined your search and courting requisites seem to be. Now I could never put-on the chickens that I would sometimes entertain in my early 20’s. It’s a gift and a curse, being that I am in my early 30’s and as I stare at my more current dates across the Cheesecake Factory’s booth, I wonder whether I could potentially marry the woman I am having my first date with. Crazy but that’s just how I think now. Maybe my perspective is too critical and I should just dig into my salmon and see what jumps off later but truthfully, I’m not embarrassed to think like a man now. I always say that God, on his most simple level, gives man something to think about. And now I am not afraid to think of the repercussions or potential outcomes of dating and relationships. I do know what I don’t want out of a relationship though. And that is a woman that throws all, I mean 100% of her interest and worth into me without regard to herself. Everyone has heard the “I can’t love someone who doesn’t love themselves” quote. And there is true merit to that statement. As a woman, you cannot revolve your whole life around a man. You have to deposit some of your precious sustenance back into yourself. Think of the word attractiveness. In order to be attractive (regardless of looks) one must be magnetic or have a magnetic personality. That means that you draw things, opportunities and especially people to you. But in order to retain what you have attracted, you must be a whole person yourself in order to keep a whole person. That is scoring the “total package”. Symbolically, when you get married, you exchange, rings which represents the giving and receiving of your mate’s entirety. When you bond or join these rings, or 360 degrees of yourself, then you are able to build and add more than what you could as individuals and bring a third party into the situation in the form of offspring. I know that the more I better myself and eat right, exercise, work hard, and always learn, I will grow my self esteem and self image. When I grow my self image, I can see myself doing even greater things and place myself in better surroundings around other upwardly mobile and interesting people. And I do believe that it is then that I will see her. Peace
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
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3 comments:
Wow! Where do I start is this my cousin or Hitch. I am the baby of the family and I am in my mid 20's, well actually 26. I have a hard time settling down because I want the brains, beauty and the booty.
Recently I was chilling with a girl who came to visit me as I have relocated from Lansing, MI to South Bend, IN for a better job and was taken aback.
She is not the most beautiful girl that I know or have dated, but we connected. I am not speaking of the physical level, more on the mental level. Our talks were great and that really meant something. More than just waiting until she would stop and I could get her into my bed. (Just moved have not had been intimate with a woman in about a month! Real Talk.)
But after our talks and cooking a meal together I began to think further than just another conquest.
Glad to know that it is still cool to act, think and feel like a real man with no worry of being called out.
Thanks cuzo for keeping my ever wandering mind on moving forward on a more enlightned path. Network!
I think it's totally natural and appropriate to make finding a mate a priority. With everything else in life such as our careers, what city we live in, etc we take it serious and are proactive. But with dating we're like "it will happen when it happens" and i don't always get that. Am i actively searching for a wife everyday? Hell no, I'm just looking for someone i can stand to be around for more than a couple of hours at a time. I get the part where you don't rush things and you let things work themselves out but i've never been afraid to push the issue either. At this age (31) I embrace love for all that it it is and when i see and/or feel a connection with a woman i won't try to act cool about it. Imo, you can't be a punk about somethng as significant as the person you're gonna be with.
I like the post, big bro.
Yes, women have to be whole packages and love themselves just as much if not more than their significant others. But once we get into relationships, we tend to nuture the hell out of it. I think it's just our nature. You know, we have to make sure you are okay (cook, clean, shop for, dress our man), take care of the baby, help out at church, do our community service, take on extra projects at work, etc. etc. etc. We are natural born multi-taskers and I'm sure everyone woman knows that she has to take care of herself first, but we end up putting others (and especially our men) in front of our own needs.
Now, this can be a default of women, but some men do it too. Perhaps not to the extent of women, but I've had men become so enthralled in my goings-on that they lost themselves and didn't have a life of their own. Now, in your post I agree with your comment of "a whole person yourself in order to keep a whole person". It is very important to maintain your own identity. It can be hard, but ultimately, you have to look out for yourself and take care of you.
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